Ellen, was that a good idea? Really? Some say a celebrity couple on Oprah's TV show is the kiss of death. Don't you remember when you appeared with Anne Heche and said almost the same words, "I'll be with her 'till I die." How old was Portia then? Anne said Ellen was the only woman for her and loving a woman was her "choice," that she had only been attracted to men before. Well, at least Portia doesn't admit to being bisexual---but I saw the same look on your face Ellen.
Here's hoping Ellen and Portia break the Oprah curse on Hollywood couples.
Portia didn't get the chance to plug this, but I will---The Ally McBeal TV series finally got permission to go on DVD, where Portia is shown in all her sexiness.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Ellen, Portia, Anne Heche, and the Oprah Kiss of Death
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Diane J Standiford
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6:33 PM
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Today Show Bipolar Wife Interview--WHY?
On Today Show, a husband says his bipolar wife staged a fake kidnapping. Matt Lauer is talking with him. WHY is this family stuff our business? WHY do these family members show up on TV? There MUST be something more interesting. Husband is taking advantage of his wife's illness.
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Diane J Standiford
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7:37 AM
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The Death of Blogs
Who really reads blogs anymore? Are they next on the grim shredder? Do people keep diaries anymore? Why should we care?
My mother's diary is in a box in my bed room. She was 18 when she kept it. I can see where she pressed harder with her pencil, when she erased (rarely), when she seemed to write faster---handwriting reveals much. She found my father that year, kissed him for the first time, fell in love? And I have that 63 year old plain blue covered diary. Could she ever have imagined it would still be around in 2009?
Coincidentally, the first diary I ever got, at age 20, I still have. I wonder where it will be in 30 years? More life-changing things happened in that year, 1979, than any other. But this blog? Where will the stories here go? I might as well be whispering alone in the dark. My stash of floppy disks are long gone. While Thomas Jefferson's signature remains forever, I can't even sign my blog. I know my mother's signature. She knew mine from the hundreds of letters we exchanged.
Permanency has been taken from us. You may argue that technology can keep data longer, will last as long as Tupperware. Perhaps that is true for large institutions, but for the average you and me? I have never felt so easily forgotten as when I blog. And the feel of paper, the sound as you turn the page, email has abolished that sensual experience. No email or "text" is as romantic as a love letter. Do you read your laptop while on your throne? (You know what I mean, Jen.)
Does you canary poop on your laptop?
I guess we can't shred a blog. Just tap "Delete"----gone forever.
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Diane J Standiford
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12:21 AM
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Sunday, November 8, 2009
MS Funding Needs Better Direction
Hot off the press! New research shows that those with fewer relapses in the first 5 years of MS were more likely to have a worse outcome. OK, now, excuse me, but this was told to me (and I read it) the year I was diagnosed--1990! This is OLD NEWS. So, I went to the NMSS web site and sure enough they talk about this great discovery. And, is it me, or can YOU understand this convoluted sentence? "They focused on the relationship between relapses during the first five years of MS, years 5 to 10, and after more than 10 years, and progression. People who had more relapses within the first five years of disease were more likely to reach an EDSS of 6. Relapses during this period had the most impact on early disease progression. However the association between early relapses and progression decreased over time, so that people with early relapses who did not experience significant progression early in the course of their disease (did not require a cane to walk by year 10 or did not transition to secondary-progressive disease) were only slightly more likely to at longer-term follow-up." HUH???
Look, I was told that how well I was doing at 5 years would show how I would end up. If I needed a cane, then I would probably never need a wheelchair, if my eyes were okay, then they always would be and so on. I couldn't WAIT for that 5 year marker! I was doing super! Remitted all my troubles away! Then...I got ovarian cancer on year 5. Bum-mer.
That experience really reminded me that MS was just one health condition my body might have to deal with. I thought if I had MS, I had my disease and that would be that. Ha! Fate---a sinister Jekyll and HIDE! So, anyhoo, all this research was funded by the MS Society. THIS was a good idea? We ALREADY KNEW this. Oh, and I love the last sentences on the NMSS site:
"More research is needed to understand the full effects of relapses on disability progression, and how disease-modifying drugs impact the long-term course of MS." Really? Let's try learning something new next time, eh what?
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Diane J Standiford
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12:14 AM
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Saturday, November 7, 2009
Ted Kennedy Rejoice! Quality Health Care for All
House passes Health Care Bill---Let us never again allow our citizens to live without health coverage. Stop fear tactics. Stop worrying about your next election. Do the right thing by your fellow Americans. I'm ready to give up donut holes. Let's get behind our president, and Teddy, enjoy an ale with your brothers tonight!
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Diane J Standiford
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8:47 PM
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Labels: Health, Health Ins., POLITICS
New Book About MS, The Healing Project
Debra LaChance fought cancer and is the definition of winner. To fight our health problems we must do more than survive them, we must conduct a pursuit to help others fight their own battles.
"And those are the people I want to help me build The Healing Project community. In addition to my daily work during my treatments and during my second round of chemotherapy, I began to develop The Healing Project as a place where people can contribute funds for research, time for connecting with and mentoring others and, most of all, a place to share their stories." Read her story here.
LaChance Publishing has sold books filled with the personal stories of those whose lives have been touched by breast and lung cancer, autism, Alzheimer's, and most recently multiple sclerosis. The "Voices of..." Book Series is critically acclaimed, and 100% of the net proceeds go toward the foundation Debra LaChance has started. Read about The Healing Project and buy a book for yourself or a loved one who is dealing with a health condition in the book series.
When I was first diagnosed with MS, I searched (and purchased) any MS book I could find. I still have them all. But, with the exception of a few autobiographies, there were no stories about the experiences of regular people. I had learned the technical aspects of my new friend (multiple sclerosis), but I would have given anything for a book like "The Voices of Multiple Sclerosis."
Not only does it cover, in easy to understand terms, all the facts about MS; but, it is filled with short stories written by others with MS, as well as those who care for someone with MS.
Unlike many other books, it is light-weight and easy to hold. I couldn't put it down until I'd read every story. I am honored to have one of my stories included in this book, and that will make my mother very happy. (She has no computer and never understood what a blog was.)
Inexpensive, easy to order online (and available in all bookstores, at all online booksellers, in most major libraries and at http://www.lachancepublishing.com/ This would make a great holiday gift for a newly diagnosed Mser, or anyone who wants to better understand multiple sclerosis.
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Diane J Standiford
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12:05 AM
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Friday, November 6, 2009
Torture Chamber for Wheelchair Users
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Diane J Standiford
at
12:11 AM
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Labels: Disabilities, Funny
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Nothing Important
Oh, I don't really have much to say. I found an old tape recorder and after getting new batteries in there, I thought I would record "post ideas" whenever they came to me. Yep, there it sits, right next to me...yep...filled with ideas...yep....ever have one of those days where you just aren't into posting anything? This would be one of those days. Yep.
My partner is having some surgery on her colon Friday. I guess I'm preoccupied with that. She is like the scarecrow from Oz, we keep putting her stuffing back in, but it keeps falling out. She used to dance...and draw, paint, make movies, act, take photos...yep...I guess I'm sad today.
Tomorrow I will feel better. Sad never stays with me for long. I never knew that a blog would be such a commitment. Maybe that commitment is only in my head, but I can't stand the thought of people clicking on MY blog and seeing the same story they already read. New viewers can read a years worth of crap, er, stuff, I try to keep chronic disease light, non-threatening, even funny when possible. I try to share my personal life, my family stories that still engage me---I will be that old person sitting alone in a room waiting to tell a story I've told a million times before. I enjoy hearing people's stories, quid pro quo. Oh my gracious! I know some Latin!
For some reason I think about my aunt Vi a lot when I write. I miss her. I miss my mom. I miss getting greeting cards and letters from them. I knew I would, but I thought they would be dead. This is a strange missing. They are alive, just not anywhere I can look into their eyes, laugh with them, tell them I am an author. I never was anything but a kid writing for fun, only being in a book with two covers was a writer to them. They never understood the Internet. The race was on. Could I do it? Could I get one of my simple, little stories between covers before they died?
I have been submitting shorts since I was 18. Nothing. My family stories were too complicated.
MS, cancer, my job with the city of Seattle, suddenly I had substance to write about that people seemed interested in. And then Blogs! You can put anything on your blog. I still am amazed people want to read what I write. Now, finally, I have a story between two covers. My name can be "searched" on Amazon.com and something appears! (Not that my mom or aunt Vi have a clue what Amazon.com is.)
A site called Vibrant Nation, for the over 50 group, asked me to write a letter to myself at age 18. Wow, I wrote it and cried like a baby. I totally went there and imagined reading it at 18, a year when I was suicidal and saw no light at the end of my tunnel or anywhere else. What I wouldn't have given for that letter, then. I highly recommend it to you to try. Yep.
(Why do some people write "yup?" or "yep? a regional dialect dealie?) If only I had a letter NOW from my 75 year old self.
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Diane J Standiford
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12:10 AM
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Kickbacks Alive and WELL in Drug Dealings
U.S. Also Files Complaint Against Two Atlanta-Based Nursing Home Chains and their Principals
WASHINGTON, Nov. 3 /PRNewswire-USNewswire/ -- The nation's largest nursinghome pharmacy, Omnicare Inc. of Covington, Kentucky, will pay $98 million, and drug manufacturer, IVAX Pharmaceuticals of Weston, Florida, will pay $14million to resolve allegations that Omnicare engaged in kickback schemes with several parties, including IVAX, the Justice Department announced today. Approximately $68.5 million of the settlement proceeds will go to the United States, while $43.5 million has been allocated to cover Medicaid program claims by participating states. At the same time, the United States announced that it has intervened and filed a complaint against two large nursing home chains, Mariner Health Care Inc.and SavaSeniorCare Administrative Services LLC, both of Atlanta, and their principals, Leonard Grunstein, Murray Forman, and Rubin Schron, for acceptinga kickback from Omnicare in return for pharmacy services contracts.The settlement with Omnicare - the nation's largest pharmacy that specializes in providing drugs to nursing home patients - resolves allegations that the company solicited or paid a variety of kickbacks. The company allegedly solicited and received kickbacks from a pharmaceutical manufacturer, Johnson &Johnson (J&J), in exchange for agreeing to recommend that physicians prescribe Risperdal, a J&J antipsychotic drug, to nursing home patients. J&J's kickbacks to Omnicare took multiple forms, including rebates that were conditioned on Omnicare engaging in an "Active Intervention Program" for Risperdal and payments disguised as data purchase fees, educational grants, and fees to attend Omnicare meetings. The government further alleged that Omnicare regularly paid kickbacks to nursing homes by providing consultant pharmacist services at rates below the company's cost and below the fair market value of such services in order to induce the homes to refer their patients to Omnicare for pharmacy services. The government also alleged that Omnicare solicited,and IVAX paid, $8 million in kickbacks in exchange for Omnicare's agreement to purchase $50 million in drugs from IVAX. These allegations against Omnicareand IVAX, now a subsidiary of Teva Pharmaceuticals Industries, Ltd., are detailed in a complaint unsealed today and originally filed under the qui tamor whistleblower provisions of the False Claims Act in the District of Massachusetts. "These defendants broke the law to take advantage of our nation's most vulnerable citizens - the elderly and the poor," said Tony West, AssistantAttorney General for the Civil Division of the Department of Justice. "Illegal conduct like this can undermine the medical judgments of health care professionals, lead to patients being prescribed medications they do not need,and drive up the costs of health care." Assistant Attorney General West thanked the collaborative efforts of the Department of Justice's Civil Division, the U.S. Attorney for the District of Massachusetts, the Office of Inspector General of the Department of Health and Human Services, the Food and Drug Administration Office of Criminal Investigations, and the Federal Bureauof Investigation. "Omnicare and other nursing home pharmacies specialize in providing drugs to elderly patients who are often suffering from Alzheimer's Disease or dementia and who have little or no control over the drugs they receive," said MichaelLoucks, Acting U.S. Attorney for the District of Massachusetts. "Today's settlement provides a strong message to these pharmacies, as well as to pharmaceutical companies and nursing homes, that the government will not tolerate the payment of kickbacks which can distort proper medical judgmentand put profits ahead of good medical care." As part of the settlement, Omnicare and IVAX have agreed to enter into separate corporate integrity agreements with the Office of Inspector General of the Department of Health and Human Services. Those agreements provide for procedures and reviews to be put in place to avoid and promptly detect conduct similar to that which gave rise to these matters. In a separate action, the United States alleges that Omnicare, Mariner HealthCare, SavaSenior Care, Grunstein, Forman, and Schron conspired to arrange for Omnicare to pay the nursing home chains $50 million in exchange for the right to continue providing pharmacy services to the nursing homes, which together constituted one of Omnicare's largest customers. According to the government's complaint, these defendants attempted to disguise the $50 million kickback as a payment to acquire a small Mariner Health Care business unit that had only two employees and was worth far less than $50 million. After they became aware of the government's investigation, Grunstein, Forman, and Schron allegedly created backdated documents in a further attempt to hide the kickback. These allegations are detailed in a separate complaint that was unsealed today.Today's settlement resolves the allegations against Omnicare and IVAX; the United States will proceed with its case against the Mariner Health Care defendants, which was originally filed as a whistleblower action.
SOURCE : U.S. Department of JusticeU.S. Department of Justice
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Diane J Standiford
at
12:01 AM
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Labels: AARP, Alzheimer's, Doctors, Nursing Homes
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Liberal Complacency Lurking in the Wings
Rumor has it that the GOP is all aflutter over recent election wins on the East Coast. I hear this has energized the GOP and they feel empowered to move "full-speed ahead" into a future of Obama bashing by any means possible.
Oh, I feel their means, I just don't hear to what ends they plan their agenda. Do you?
This brings me to the shot heard 'round America: Liberal Complacency.
What happened to all that love and support liberals showered on Obama last year? Only a battle was won, the fight will rage on. Republicans are that bee you swatted, but didn't kill; they are pissed off and seek revenge. And trust me, America will get stung.
Look forward to America's problems being blamed on our current president. It will not matter that he inherited the most screwed up country in all history. It will not matter that soldiers die in a war he didn't start. The debt will be his burden. The naive will be the liberals. Dare I say it? The South shall rise again, with sweet summer breezes blowing sheets on the back yard clothes line.
If that is our future, liberal complacency has trodden again on our nation's hopes and dreams of being called, by more than the GOP and fanatic religious groups, the Greatest Nation in the World.
Posted by
Diane J Standiford
at
7:00 AM
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Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Secret Recipe From 1800s Revealed
When I was a little girl my mom had some orange-brown goop in a white plastic jar. It had a smell like nothing I can compare it to. When I had a splinter, the goop went on and next day splinter was out. Mom used it for other things and it seemed to be precious. In fact, when I left Indiana in 1979, that jar was still in Mom's house. (I was 22 when I left.)
In later years I wanted some of that goop and even thought, hey! I could make a million manufacturing/selling it. Mom told the story of one day her Pop went on his usual morning farm duties, but by dark, only his horse returned.
Grandpa had accidentally swung his ax across his lower leg, ripping off a chunk. He shouted for my mom, a small girl herself, at the time, and Mom ran out to limping "Pop" with "the salve."
He had her slather the hole in his leg with it and within a few days his leg was fine. Ka-Ching!
When I tried getting the recipe, I ran into resistance. Homer (My mom's brother---Pop was dead.) didn't seem anxious to give up the secret ingredient. After many years of asking for it, Aunt Vi finally made Homer write it down. I was sent the recipe!
Besides the difficulty in reading 90-something Aunt Vi's (And she was the baby in the family.) handwriting, there was one ingredient totally illegible. She wasn't sure either, so I called home on a night I knew the keepers of the secret would all be at my mom's, playing cards. I stayed on the phone while Uncle Homer read each letter aloud to spell the word. I had never heard of it.
My better half (i.e. smarter half) had, and said it sounded like opium. WHAT? (Better half claims to know this from reading Sherlock Holmes...) So, I looked it up and sure enough---OPIUM. No wonder my family "used it for everything."
During my next trip to my medical Captain (my Internist, my Team of doctors Leader), I told the story of an old family recipe and could he please prescribe this one ingredient. I showed him the recipe. He has learned I am a kidder of sorts, that I keep things light, so he just looked at me, "That is opium. I'm afraid I can't prescribe that."
"I just want it for removing splinters." (And getting rich.)
"Sorry."
"Well, how did they get it back then? Can't it be made from poppies?" (Lots of poppies in Seattle.)
"I guess so, but you would need a LOT of poppies." We both laughed.
I still have the recipe...
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Diane J Standiford
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1:54 AM
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Monday, November 2, 2009
FREE DRUG COUPONS
http://disablednotdead-anne3.blogspot.com/2009/10/drug-coupons.html#links
Thanks to Anne at DISABLED NOT DEAD
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Diane J Standiford
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3:49 PM
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That First Call, "I Have MS," to Mom and Spouse
After I sat with my always preoccupied (with his divorce situation, he took her calls right in front of me, "Your test result shows," brrrr, "Hello? " NOT COOL, Doc.) neurologist, and he explained using my MRI picture that seriously belongs in the Louvre, that I had multiple sclerosis, during my drive home I was imagining telling my significant other (my mom) and oh yeah, my partner of 11 years (in 1990), the news.
Naturally, I personally was overjoyed! I thought for sure that I had a brain tumor, back then that was a death penalty. I'd been having obvious neurological symptoms for years and they kept getting worse, I deduced (this was in the olden days before Google) it was a brain tumor and my inattentive neuro had said "It could be many things. Yes, a tumor is one of them, just have to wait and see," so yeah, I didn't know much about MS, except that it wouldn't kill me.
First I practiced pronouncing it, whew, that was a challenge, and I'm a horrible speller so that would be next, but I knew what my mom would want to know. "Is that Jerry's Kids?" For the first time my home in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, seemed very far away from my current home in Seattle, Washington.
Brrrring, Aunt Vi answered, oh no, the worrier extraordinaire in the family, "Hello?"
Diane: "Hi, Aunt Vi, can I talk to Mom?" (This meant there was something serious going on and Aunt Vi knew it. Before this day, I had never mentioned any of my health concerns to them. It just wasn't done. Unhealthy people were thought of as having a "weak constitution," or on death's bed. This was going to be very upsetting for Mom and Aunt Vi, and I knew it.
Aunt Vi: "Sure. RO-SE-LYN! It's Diane!"
Mom: "Hello?"
D: "Hi, Mom. I went to the doctor and I have MS."
M: "Oh...is that Jerry's Kids?" (I KNEW it!)
D: "No, it's a problem with all my nerves and my brain. I won't die, but I won't walk good and stuff like that. I might need a wheelchair one day."
M: "Does it hurt?"
D: "No."
M: "Oh, that's great, Hey! Will you get to get one of those handicapped parking stickersex so you can park close to stores?" (She was exuberant!)
D: "Yes, I guess so."
M: "I always thought that would be so neat!"
D: "Yeah. Well, I just wanted you to know. I better go now. You tell Aunt Vi."
M: "Oh, sure. Talk to you later."
D: " Ok, bye."
M: "Bye." CLICK
Well, that was a surprise. I forgot that she would want to know if it hurt. That is always her big thing and her way of judging how serious anything is, if it hurts. The parking permit was a surprise. Had I known, I would have led with that.
Over the years we would never discuss it much. Aunt Vi would coax her and admonish her for not asking how I was doing, but you see, my mom was afraid to hear bad news on that front---it would make her sad. She could not bear to know her children were suffering in any way. Easy fix, just don't ask. We had the "Don't ask, Don't tell" policy long before Clinton. No matter how I tried to explain MS to them over the years, they never really understood it.
My first call after I got the DX (stands for diagnosis), was to my partner. She and I had discussed what it might be and we ended with, "Whatever it is we'll deal with it." That saying would become our theme song over our 30 years. She was at work and it went like this:
Brrring "Karenlee speaking."
Diane: "Hi. I have MS."
K: "Okay. You okay?'
D: "Absolutely. We'll talk when you get home."
K: "Ok."
D:"Bye."
K "Bye. I love you."
CLICK
We had previously spoken a lot about what the MRI might reveal and how we would handle the different scenarios. We had researched different brain conditions. We had thought through financial plans and the 2 story condo with stairs that we had recently put a down payment on, our first freedom from renting. We had it all covered and MS was our favorite outcome. Yes, it was good news for us that day.
Both phone calls, in total, lasted no more than 4 minutes. I hung up the phone, sat by the window overlooking large evergreens and our condo in the distance, and took a deep breath. As is true, from what I read and hear from others with MS, I was very relieved that I didn't have a brain tumor or some cancer. After 30 minutes of feeling happy, I set off to the library to find books about MS. Let the adventure begin!
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Diane J Standiford
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12:04 AM
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Sunday, November 1, 2009
Top Five Celebrities with Disabilities Who Touched My Life
My list of Top Five Outstanding Celebrities with Disabilities :
1. Helen Keller I first learned about Helen Keller when I was 5 years old. After seeing a movie based on her life, I had to read books about her. My admiration for her public speeches about politics and carrying on with life as it comes will never end. She was the first person who was deaf and blind to earn a Bachelor of Arts degree. She died in 1968 at the age of 88. "Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved. " Helen Keller
Ckick here to see clip of how Helen Keller learned to speak.
2. John F. Kennedy He was my hero when I was in kindergarten. When I learned along with millions of others that he had Addison's Disease, his heroic feats during the war and his political tenacity made him larger than life. Before the 1930's almost 90% of those with this debilitating disease died within 5 years of diagnosis, with this and constant back pain, Kennedy remains one of our most beloved presidents.
3. Geri Jewell was a regular on The Facts of Life TV show when I was a teenager. I had never seen a real life person with a disability portrayed with such grace. She didn't have to act much! She has cerebral palsy. She continues her acting career, stand-up comedy, and check out her blog!
http://gerijewell.blogspot.com/
4. Barbara Jordan Long before I had multiple sclerosis in my life, I knew about this political power house who was considered as a possible running mate for Jimmy Carter. A woman? An African American? About time! I couldn't find out much about MS, but I knew it must put people in wheelchairs. That didn't stop her though and now I think of her often. Oh, and she lived her life with a woman.
5. Christopher Reeves I had a magazine photo of him above my work desk during my working MS years and he inspired me every day. If HE can do it, without complaining, how dare I not?
Honorable Mention for acting parts: 1. Patty Duke as Hellen Keller in "The Miracle Worker" 2, Marlee Matlin a deaf actress starring in "Children of a Lesser God", playing a deaf woman who falls in love with a speech teacher. 3. Michael J Fox playing a war vet in the TV show, "Rescue Me." An actor with Parkinson's portraying a paralyzed war veteran---wow! 4.Tom Hanks playing a man dying from AIDS in the movie, "Philadelphia". 5. James Woods as a patient with ALS on "ER."
There are many more I could add. Who is on your list?
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Diane J Standiford
at
12:09 AM
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Saturday, October 31, 2009
My Parents Treat My Kids Better Than They Treated Me
Sometimes we see anger in people whose parents treat their grandchildren "better than they treated me." GRANDPARENTS! Listen up! I get it, you feel you screwed up with your own kids and now have a second chance. Great! You learned a lesson. But, you are fixing your mess the wrong way. People learn by example. If you didn't spend enough time with your own children, don't smother their children with your attention. You must give your attention to two generations now, both at once. Speak it aloud to all involved, "I didn't ___ and now I am going to." Then, include both sets of "kids." Look! Right there! You taught two important lessons. (And that is what life is about---teaching and learning, growing. You don't get a pass either, even if you HAVE no kids, teaching and learning is what gives life purpose, without purpose you will die an empty soul.) "I RAISED my kids, now I can just sit back." WRONG (Well, you can, but again--empty soul.)
The, "You can't teach an old dog new tricks," may be true for dogs, but in humans we know now, thanks to scans of the brain, that is not true. I hate hearing, "It's just the way I am" and "It's too late to change now." Baloney. Every day holds a chance to change the world, to change your life, to be happy and make someone else happy. Life is short, make your mark, leave this world a better place than you found it. Well? What are you waiting for?
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Diane J Standiford
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9:04 AM
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Friday, October 30, 2009
Safe in My Assisted Living/ Retirement Home
Here I am, relaxing in my reclining power chair. Halloween is almost over and my only fear (of spiders) has never been an issue! Yea! Happy Halloween Everyone! ( I feel so safe at my new home.)
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Diane J Standiford
at
12:13 AM
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Thursday, October 29, 2009
The View, Whoopi and Gang, Discuss Gang Rape
Reportedly at least 15 people just stood by and watched a teenage girl being gang raped in California and they just stood there, some even joined in. I know we have become very desensitized to rapes, rapes are not newsworthy, they happen every day in this country and around the world. But, I have to wonder if we are becoming less human? Certainly, less humane than our date, 2009, would suggest we might be.
Philosophers and psychologists will debate how 15 people could just watch another human being abused, and do nothing to stop it. They and we have debated it before. Whoopi Goldberg on The View says it is a sign of the times and all around her agreed. "Mind your own business."
Ridiculous! In the 1960s "Mind your own business," and "Tend for your own garden," still were the rules of the road. I was taught that and I refused that. When a woman was being beaten by her man-friend (or whoever he was) across the street one hot Indiana evening, my adult family members just sat on our screened-in porch and listened. I was about 9, and I begged my mother to call the police. She gave me the "what's wrong with you?" look, and the others quietly chimed in, "None of our business." I went into the house and called the police, they arrived and chased the man out of the house across the street where the woman was screaming. The man climbed onto his roof, where the police caught him. It was never spoken of again.
Once a woman was attacked under my 2nd floor bedroom window when I was about 14. I immediately called the police who arrived fast, but the man got away, though the woman was saved. When I told my mom (she slept through it all, she slept through tornadoes), she gave me the disapproving "look."
What was wrong with me? Why didn't that lesson "take?" I believe empathy must be taught to children at an early age along with the courage to help those in need. But who taught me? In fact I got negative reinforcement for my actions and often heard, "You always have to be different."
HAVE to be---never understood what that implied. God, it is so EASY to help now, HELLO, cell phones! Would have taken a minute out of the life of just one bystander.
This is something I struggle with, this ganging up on others without a single person saying "no."
Why do you think it happens? People "gang up" in workplaces, in churches, in schools, and you KNOW they can't all agree with their direction....can they?
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Diane J Standiford
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11:59 AM
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Friends and Angels
This is my friend, Angie, at our previous apartment. She started as a CNA (certified nursing assistant) caregiver for me and when that ended I knew a good person when I saw one---we became friends. She is my "Walking Again" partner. She is not yet 30 and is raising her two delightful kids on her own. She is a lot like I used to be: moved to Seattle from small city, plans for starting her own business (which she is doing as a home cleaner) , making a life for herself.
She decided to lose weight, get in shape, and off she went! She started eating healthy, drinking lots of water, walking then running. She joined marathons, then triathlons, WITH her two kids, a son, 7, and daughter, 8---the three of them went up a local mountain and passed other adults, who they had begun with, on their way down! "What will I need to wear? Will there be swimming?" I was asked questions that I could only Google!
The fact that she had never done such physical events never phased her and she always ends having done and gone farther and faster than she could have imagined! She looks like a different person, confident, fit, ready for anything. Don't you just love people like that? She remains close to her children's father's family and has made an extended family for her kids that includes their father and many aunts and uncles. I am so amazed at her emotional strength and her guileless, but true wisdom that has kept her children unscathed by divorce and parental fighting.
Except for the "I Can Do It" attitude, she also reminds me of my mother because she is so incredibly sweet and non-judgemental. She is like a fresh, strong breeze into our apt. now, and we could never have done this last move into the retirement home without her.
Somehow, I have had angels like Angie who enter my life just when I am at rock bottom and desperately need help. I'd tell you I pray for them, but I don't---they appear. (Though I do give thanks!) It has, however, been my experience that they usually leave as suddenly as they appeared. That leaving is always so hard for my partner and me; I hope I am more prepared this time. But, she is young and the world is waiting for her. There is nothing she can't do and she must do it. So, for now she is here in MY world and I am wringing every joyous moment out of her that I can. But why I deserve her, I'll never know.
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Diane J Standiford
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12:29 AM
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Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Jim Cramer, Billy Mays Spin the Wheel of Loud Fortune
BUY BUY BUY BUY
SELL SELL SELL SELL
Can you imagine getting in between a screaming match with Billy Mays and Jim Cramer? Or, can you imagine them as contestants on The Wheel of Fortune? "D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" "G!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Why do these people shout so loud? OK, Cramer is a nut-job, Mays has passed, so we won't speak ill of the dead, but WHY do they scream on Wheel of Fortune? THEY HAVE MICROPHONES!!!! (Now I am shouting---ugh)
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Diane J Standiford
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8:07 AM
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Trick or Treating Memories 1950-1966
Speaking of trick or treating, here is my story: I only went out with my mom. I didn't have any friends around who were my age. My brothers were 7 and 8 years older and the 7yr older (middle child) was deeply into horrific costumes chosen (in my worldview) to scare me to death. He even turned me off to Santa and clowns, anything behind a disguise freaked me out, thanks, Mark.
Mom would drive to the rich side of town and we would hit them up for FULL-SIZE candy bars! Then finish off with our own street and the houses we knew. There were the two lesbian, retired teachers, one who played her piano daily as I walked home from school. I loved hearing her comforting music and seeing her partner rock on their porch. It was so sad when the piano partner died and the porch sitter stopped sitting after a few months, then she too passed away. The gave popcorn balls!
At the end of the block was everyone's favorite couple. They were retired, married many years, and had a meticulously manicured yard, plus a large garden of flowers and vegetables. Mr. and Mrs. were almost always outside working about the yard and offering fresh picked food or flowers. They were so sweet and loving to each other. Fresh caramel apples were their treat and were they delicious! They always made sure Mom got one too. One winter their gas furnace had a blip and they died in their sleep from carbon monoxide poisoning. The neighborhood was in shock and the story made the paper. Each year as I walked past, the yard became more ugly, uncared for, and the house looked awful when I moved away.
On the spooky side, I used to see an outline of a woman looking out the top floor window in the lesbian's house until both had passed. Likely, just a shadow.
My brothers spent Halloween probably causing mischief. I wonder if they used to go out with their father.
My costumes were always store bought. My mother and I had no artistic talents whatsoever. And my mother had bad memories of children teasing her in school for wearing home-made clothes. My favorite costumes were a horse, (the adults loved the tail and my antics in that one) and Flipper.
What was your trick treat tradition? Oh, and I was never afraid of the dark, I don't even know what families do now...have parties instead? Too bad, it was a nice way to meet the neighbors.
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Diane J Standiford
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12:10 AM
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Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Charlie Brown at the Retirement Home
Tonight is the TV show you all have been waiting for! On ABC, check your listings for time, although this adventure was a little late for me, no kid should miss it. While, CB Christmas is my fave, my neighbors decorated the hall ways and THEY still like It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. Never too late to be a kid at heart.
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Pumpkin Contest at Retirement Home-Vote Here
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Monday, October 26, 2009
Mystery Girl 3,000 miles from Home. Somebody HELP Her
Jane Doe found wandering in NYC has been identified as a teen from my state. Still the are more questions than answers. I am surprised at the lack of news coverage. She is blonde, a teen, only giving clues to any memory, even though her family has claimed her. One report stated she has "disappeared" before. Her family doesn't seem too concerned and no friends have come forward. She looks to me like a gay, lonely, isolated young woman of 18. Is she suffering from mental illness or just neglect of acceptance? Is her amnesia a hoax?
We lavish attention on selfish professional media whores, like the flying balloon family, but a girl who runs off to NYC (and they make it sound like NYC is Bulgaria, "HOW did she get so FAR away?" News Flash: One of the first places isolated gay people want to go is NYC. ("If you can make it there...")
If only her blonde hair were long and feminine, I bet she would get lots of attention. As it is, she will be only a spec of dust on some reporters computer screen. Will her "loved ones" find help for her this time? She was reportedly living in a small town in Washington State with her late mother's best friend, after moving away from her father's home. A "yet to be identified" caller gave the tip that led police to her identity. The reasons could be many, but whatever they are, I hope someone helps her find herself.
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Diane J Standiford
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7:38 AM
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Sending Messages from the Grave--This is My Family

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12:13 AM
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Sunday, October 25, 2009
Flash Forward What Did You See? What to Do?
The ABC TV show, FlashForward, has me fascinated. I can't stop thinking about it. In the show, all of humankind has blacked out for 2 minutes and 17 seconds. After they awake, they remember what they "saw" during that time, which turns out to be 6 months in the future.
A happily married woman sees herself in an affair. A single lesbian sees herself pregnant. A woman sees herself as president of the U.S. One man sees nothing and presumes he must be dead in 6 months. Then the seemingly impossibilities begin to look possible as people are asked to tell what they saw.
Knowing what the future holds begins to affect the actions of those who live now. One white man saw himself as black! When he tells this and finds himself dying in an ER, the doctors figure that a disease could have turned his skin very dark and thereby they treat him with proper drugs to save his life.
So, I began to wonder what if in 1990, 6 months before my MS diagnosis, how would seeing the future have affected me? What if I saw, in 1975, my "forever" lover getting it on with my brother? I never would have believed it possible.
Six months has taken on a whole new meaning to me. I never realized, in my own life, how much can change in 6 months. (I know, I shouldn't interchange 6 and six, PICK ONE DIANE, my blog--deal with it, you grammar freaks!) (A group of freaks I belong to, and a certain blog, The LetterPress has me addicted, but I wildly digress!)
So tell me, would you want a peek into your future? And if you are a fan of the show---what do you think is going on?! I mean, a man's life was saved that wouldn't have been without the knowledge of the future, and yet, in the future he is alive , so which REALLY came first?
Any thoughts on what might cause such a worldwide phenomenon? It seems to have happened before... Yeah, I know it sounds like Lost, but that show NEVER made sense, and I don't fly; I DO live in a world of possibilities.
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Diane J Standiford
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6:49 AM
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Psychic Aunt, Vi. Ready for a Wedding in Fort Wayne
As Halloween approaches, my thoughts turn more and more towards Aunt Violet, the family psychic. Here she is ready to be in the wedding of her sister's, the only other psychic of 6 siblings, daughter, Marge. Marge and Ed would have a long, happy marriage. Aunt Vi was the only sibling who never married, but she was never alone. She lived with a friend, Ivah. They met as teenagers and became inseparable until Ivah's death in the 1970s. Aunt Vi was a second mother to many and a beloved aunt, great aunt, great great aunt, great great great aunt to many more. How great was she!?
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Diane J Standiford
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12:11 AM
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Saturday, October 24, 2009
Memory of a Gremlin
My first brand new car, paid in full, an AMC Gremlin. That car took me through the deepest snow and across states loaded with all my worldly possessions. Those mag wheels were the first thing I bought for it. People joke about them now, but nobody ever refused a ride in my Gremlin. Check out the black racing strip.
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Diane J Standiford
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5:59 PM
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Mother, Daughter, and Aunt in Nursing/Assisted Living/Retirement Homes
Mom: "Hello?" (She starts in a low, sweet, almost sexy voice.)
Diane: " Hi, Mom. How are you?"
Mom: (she chuckles, we both get the irony, we are not in our own homes, how "fine" can we be? I have MS, she has Alzheimer's...)
Diane:" Where were you?"
Mom: " I was sitting in the lobby. They came and got me. Now I am in a little office."
Diane: "Yeah, well I was having trouble reaching you, so they said they would find you."
Mom: "Oh. I'm sorry I missed your call. How are YOU?"
Diane: "I'm okay. I feel bad having them run you down. I don't really have anything to say. Let's see, do they decorate for Halloween there?"
Mom: "For what?" (We never were big on Halloween.)
Diane: "Halloween. Pumpkins, costumes."
Mom: "Oh, yes, they have signs on the walls and a pumpkin."
Diane: "They really go all out here. They have parties."
Mom: "That's nice. I think they have that here too. I'm not going."
Diane: "Me either." (We both laugh over this societal short-coming that we share.)
Mom: "Are you near a lake?" (A question out of the blue that brings up what I had talked about over a week ago about my view, and I hadn't even stated who I was yet. A good sign, I thought.)
Diane: "Yes! I am right across the street from one. I can see sail boats and seagulls!" (I try not to make where I am sound as wonderful as it is, because I know her place is secluded with nothing around but Indiana flat land. I have guilt. SHE should be here, not me. SHE deserves this place and she would love it here. Aunt Vi would love it here too. They both should be here. Life is not fair. I had so many more chances than my mom did. Her entire life has always looked so lonely to me. Soon it will be over and what pleasures she got were so fleeting. It will always tear at me.)
Mom: "That sounds wonderful." (There it is. Never before. In her voice I hear sadness. It is breaking my heart, yet I feel some relief. I always knew she had to feel left out. Christmases when here 3 children got so many presents from Aunt Vi. Christmases when her 6 grandchildren never called. The many anniversaries I celebrated with the love of my life. My brother's divorces then swift remarriages. Her pain at not holding her great grandchildren when they were babies. Her lack of friends.Never would she admit to any sadness. But I heard it, right then, just now, and in that quiet, softly spoken moment---years of sadness could be felt and I'll never forget it.)
Diane: It's nice. I'm very lucky. It should have been you, Mom. You would love it here."
Mom: "Oh well."
Diane: "Your voice always sounds so young. You sound like you are 40." (Strange since she was a smoker most of her life. Aunt Vi, in her 90s would leave a phone message and sound like a 30 year old. I am often asked by callers if they can speak to my mother. We have concluded it is herditary.)
Mom: (laughs) "I wish I LOOKED 40!" (She actually looks great for 81.)
Diane: "Anything else new?" (Let's get outa here.)
Mom: ( She laughs, then gets serious and lowers her voice.) "Aunt Vi can't see at all."
The rest of the conversation we discuss Aunt Vi, my mother showing empathy for her aunt's situation, something I hadn't heard in awhile. Aunt Vi practically raised my mom from 15 on. That was when Aunt Vi sat in the front row, her arm around my crying mom, at Aunt Vi's oldest sister's (My mom's mom) funeral. There was purple lace draped on the coffin. No one has told me the significance of that. For a poor, small town farm family, purple lace on the coffin of a straight-laced women who died too young, seems out of place to me. A personal gesture that will likely remain a personal secret among loved ones.
Diane: " I know. And for a verbal person, not seeing or hearing must be so awful."
Mom: "Yes. Thanks for calling." (That's my cue. She is done for now.)
Diane: "OK, talk to you again. Take care."
Mom: "Bye."
Diane: "Bye."
(A part of me can't help but think we belong together and the three of us do not belong where we live. Another part of me remembers that none of us could live together in peace. You can't cut and paste the good parts of relationships.)
CLICK
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Diane J Standiford
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Cemetary Photography

My partner and I love the beauty of cemeteries. When we first got together we began a series of photographs at cemeteries around the Midwest and later the Pacific NW. They offer an incredible background and are rich with tradition, inflicting strong emotional responses from viewers. I wonder if one day we will run out of land for burials and cemeteries will become museums.
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Diane J Standiford
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12:13 AM
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Friday, October 23, 2009
If this song doesn't make you smile, nothing will.
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Diane J Standiford
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6:49 PM
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Don't Ever Want to Hear Again
"Boys will be boys." What are your "I don't even want to hear" agains?
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Diane J Standiford
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7:29 AM
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PDS and DAS When Sick Becomes the New Healthy
Sometime serious conditions sneak up on us without warning, or we ignore the warning signs.
PDS, or Prescription Drug Syndrome, is reaching across racial and socioeconomic lines to infect our citizens. When I left my job with the city of Seattle, about 5 years ago, most of my co-workers were taking some type of drugs. Prozac was the famous one at the time. If you were not taking Prozac, someone would suggest it to you.
Even now, if you tell someone that you take no prescription drugs (especially true of medical workers) they look at you like you are nuts, and repeat the question. They end with, "That's all?" I am not a vegan or hippie or yuppie or odppie. I just do not have PDS. My 102 year old great aunt doesn't have PDS either, so it may be genetic. (Both our doctors call it "ornery," but she has outlived all her many previous doctors, so...)
We really must stop this horrible syndrome before NOT having it becomes a stigma. Sick has become the new healthy. If we are not trying to cheat death, then we MUST be mentally ill.
Our next looming crisis is DAS, a syndrome my partner suffers from, Diminishing Ass Syndrome. We first noticed this about 10 years ago and at that time no one ever spoke of the embarrassing condition. Luckily, we noted it made its way into an animated TV show, King of the Hill, and we didn't feel so all alone. Still tooty, but no booty, sagging pants reveal suffers of this syndrome without a cure. (Though anecdotal remedies have show that the devouring of many Krispy Kremes and Big Macs can lead toward a slowing of DAS progression.)
Warning signs of PDS: You can't remember what each pill is for.
Your pharmacist is on a first name basis with you.
You have memorized your pharmacy phone number.
Warning signs of DAS: Sagging pants in the rear area.
Sore tail bone.
Uncontrollable urge to look in mirror for an ass.
Definition: Yuppie--Young Upward Moving Professional
Odppie--Old Downward Moving Professional
Hippie--Bob Dylan
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Diane J Standiford
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12:13 AM
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Sequence Board Game Exercises the Brain
First Bridge, then Scrabble, now Sequence---games galore at the retirement home! Here I am getting my behind kicked by my neighbor, Mary. Vic, our instructor, took the photograph. He says he won most of the games because men are just superior. Mary and I will make him cry like a baby next time. Hahahahahaha
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Diane J Standiford
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12:03 AM
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Thursday, October 22, 2009
Disappearing Dog
Nothing more fun than playing in leaves, than playing fetch with your dog in leaves. You saw my big house, here I am sitting in the back yard in front of the 3-car garage. That was a yellow ladder to no where hanging on the side.
Annie loved to fetch. I took her to a park once and threw the stick, she ran like her life depended on it and suddenly---she disappeared! When I ran after her, the ground dropped off into a deep hole and there was Annie, looking up at me, smiling, wagging her tail, with the stick on her mouth. I had to scale down and push her up, then climb back up myself. She never let go of the stick until it was dropped at my feet.
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Diane J Standiford
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12:14 AM
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Health Boss Has Cancer. Swine Flu Anyone?
Wasn't it just a few months ago that our Health and Human Services Secretary, Kathleen Sebelius, who just had some skin cancer removed above her eye, told us not to worry about Swine Flu (or the PC H1N1, poor pigs--EAT BACON Y'ALL) vaccines? Didn't she tell us there would plenty? And people wonder why I am so skeptical of promises I hear.
Not only are we running out already, but the IV drug that can save a life of the infected has been held up by the 'always on the ball' (My sarcasm IV is dripping.) FDA. Sebelius now assures us that IV drug will get a rush job, or EUA (Emergency Use Authorization,) gee, I never even heard of that before! And silly me, I thought we KNEW we had an emergency on our hands months ago.)
If you have recently been diagnosed with MS, then you are now officially allowed to go to the head of the line with all the many other "at risk" people. FYI---You might want to take a sit-cane or book.
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Diane J Standiford
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12:05 AM
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Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Rosie and Ellen Have the Right to be Miserable
Rosie and her wife are reported by CNN to be splitting up. See, really now, don't gay couples deserve to get married, have kids, be miserable and get divorced like 50% of all other married people? And Ellen, what a circus her divorce from Anne Heche would have been! GAY PEOPLE DESERVE THE SAME RIGHT TO SCREW UP THEIR LIVES AS ANY AMERICAN!
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Diane J Standiford
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6:09 PM
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Mental Illness Speak Up---Watch Glenn Close in Ron Howard PSA
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12:21 PM
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Ecstacy of MS Small Triumphs. Will I Walk Again?
To bring you up to speed with my "Walking Again with MS" program (or should I call it "plan?" "goal?" "wild goose chase?") I decided to figure out my own way back to walking ability, since years of trying different physical therapists have failed horribly. My walking was becoming "bedridden" and I knew it. I felt so alone with my loss. I watched it leave in slow motion, complaining to all medical staff I could, but getting nowhere fast, while my wallet grew thinner.
Finally, I decided I would figure a way to walk again by myself. And I must tell you that my decision was one of the best I've ever made. At first I thought I would post a daily "diary" type update, but it quickly became clear that too much time would be spent on typing instead of walking and my "Living with MS" blog would become a one act show---BORING. Hence, the occasional updates. I also see this has revealed many positive ways to cope with the trash MS dumps on us, and a book looms ahead---if I have success. I am confident I will have success.
Getting people to help me was goal one. Check. Can I just say, everyday people are so beautiful and generous of spirit. Some I may never meet, but their emails, phone calls, postcards of encouragement have been so uplifting. And of course, YOU, my blog readers, my peeps, I feel you have my back. It helps, it helps a lot. Thank you. It is no small truth that I couldn't do this without you.
Next, I made a plan of goals to reach. Figuring out where I was at was crucial, now it is "as the crow flies" toward land. Researching products that might help came next, some helped, some didn't. Some days I fail, some days I succeed, but every day I try. They say that showing up is the hardest and one of the most important things you can do in life. I show up each day. It is ON.
After a month I knew I was relying too much on my arms to bear my weight as I tried moving with a walker. My arms were hurting. It occurred to me that my weight bearing ability was awful. It may sound strange to some of you that I hadn't realized this, but MS is sneaky, it nibbles. MS is a nibbler. I couldn't stand on my own two feet. WHOA! When did THIS start!?
Weight bearing became my next goal. Then, I realized I couldn't sit up without grabbing something. Holy atrophy! I was in worse shape than I thought! As I took inventory, the broken places seemed insurmountable. Every goal needed another met before I could proceed!
My attitude was two-fold: I need to get busy. I need to find balance between this walking program and living a normal life. Flu shots, making friends, writing, reading, playing, all had to be fit into the difficult job ahead. Now you are more or less up to date.
My standing alone is up to one minute. When I hit that minute my helper was ecstatic. Others seem more into it than I am, but it isn't that I am not thrilled, I just want to keep high hopes in check so that on days when I only can stand 10 seconds nobody crashes. (Me) But, some things have gotten me on cloud nine.
I can lift my 5lb. weight again with my right wrist. Haven't been able to do that in four years. I am even ready to buy a 10lb. weight. I can make my left arm straight. Couldn't do that for over a year, causing impossible transfers which led to 9-11 calls for medic transfers. Come to find out all I needed was stretching of that arm. Every morning and throughout day, that arm gets special attention. Why? Why did neurologists just jot down that my nerves were damaged and the MS had caused atrophy? You know what? I don't even care anymore. All the brushing off of Diane is going in my book to come.
My big toes can twiggle again. That twiggling was one of the first things to go and not come back. IT'S BACK. My left thumb. I saw occupational therapists, neurologists, had braces made (I dumped the $.25 things), was told I had secondary progressive and that's life. Uh UH, I stretched, I slept with the thumb it a flexed outward position, now? IT IS THUMBS UP on its own! The medical community gave up on me, labeled me, wrote me off---BIG MISTAKE.
Please, PLEASE, if they label and ignore you, don't stop trying to go farther than they say you ever will. It is NOT impossible. Your body is on your side. It is fighting MS right now. All it asks is for some help and YOU can answer that call. I am so excited each day to wake up and see what awaits my miraculous MS body.
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Diane J Standiford
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12:06 AM
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Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Listen to People with ALS Tell Their Story
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Diane J Standiford
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7:20 AM
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Halloween at Retirement Home or Decorating Etiquette
Decorating at a retirement home with assisted living and the average age looking to be 80 (though I may have lowered that average and you're welcome), one should be thoughtful about the decor, right? I mean are skeletons, ghosts, and zombies really a good idea?
While I am toiling away at making happy pumpkin pictures, I take a break to deliver some pumpkin bagels to a few special friends. Holy Jack Lantern! The displays on my neighbors doors are spooky, scary, bats, ghosts, tombstones, vampires---wow! I'm a fool. These people are hip. One apt. door still has an Obama poster. This place is NOT my grandma's retirement home.
Back to the drawing board.
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Diane J Standiford
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12:29 AM
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Monday, October 19, 2009
When My Mom with Alzheimer's Said Good-Bye
Diane: "MOTHER!" (She laughs as is our routine) How are you?"
Mom: "Fine. How are you?"
D: "OK, anything new?"
M: "Not really. It's cold in here."
D: "In your room?"
M: "Yes, and outside. Where do you live again?"
D: "Seattle."
M: "Oh, that's right. Is it cold there?"
D: "Not too bad, the leaves are changing."
M: "I bet they are."
D: "Do you know who this is?" (I ask this every time now.)
M: "Diane!" (She laughs and pretends to be insulted.)
D: "You didn't remember for awhile."
M: "Oh, that's terrible." (We both laugh)
D: "Any visitors lately?" (She will now launch into the story I have heard many times about several of our closest family members stopping by from across the states to visit her during a reunion they had. She enjoyed seeing all of them but quickly forgot who they were and continues to forget who they were, but the event stays with her. My brother and a cousin were nice enough to send me photos. Mom would have loved every second of this reunion and has a host of stories to tell. Nowadays her stories must be prompted and are short and sweet. Keeping that in mind, back to the cold. "Is your room warm?" I have been told she has the window side with her roommate.
M: "Oh, yes, most of the time. I just put a sweater on if it bothers me." (She has seemed to have more than her share of colds while there. But, it IS Indiana and my brother has assured me the room is fine. In the photos I received she looks very happy and well. It is hard being so far away. My plan was to buy a big house in Seattle, bring Mom and Aunt Vi out one day...but MS had other plans. I often wonder if they would have even come. My mom LOVES Indiana and neither are crazy about flying.
D: "Made any friends there?" (She laughs at the absurdity of the question. My mother is not a friend-maker. I remember only two friends from work one year, and that is it. She seemed to attempt to make friends at the low-income apt. complex she lived in right before the nursing home. A change in her personality that always shocked and pleased me.
M: "No. I eat lunch sometimes with my roommate. She is 92 and doesn't talk much. She is very nice. " (I have heard these same words so long, I think the lady must be 93 now. Mom thinks she is in her 60s. I used to correct her, but now I let it go and I will leave the age question alone, even on her next birthday. Why not? Her voice is no different then when she was in her 40s.)
D: "That sounds nice. Well, anything else new?" (She laughs. We have had these boring phone calls for 30 years.)
M: "No, but thanks for calling. Call again."
D: "Okay. Take care."
M: "You too."
D: "Bye"
M: "Bye."
CLICK I want, lately, to end with "I love you." But, it would sound so final since we never say those words. The last birthday card she sent me was flowing with Hallmark moment loving words. We NEVER sent cards like that, always Snoopy or jokey ones. That last card was final and I knew it. The words and sentiments I always longed for made me feel horrible. We knew how we felt about each other, and it was me not her who always wanted to HEAR her say it, later, wanted to read it....but she never could before the end.
I have saved all the holiday cards Aunt Vi and Mom gave me over the years. Never dreamed they would live so long and I would have so many. Now I can pull them out on holidays and all the funny Halloween cards will decorate my home this year. I will look forward to my birthday each year, and reading that one loving card. The card my mom told me, "Good-bye."
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Diane J Standiford
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12:08 AM
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Sunday, October 18, 2009
Montel Williams and His Psychic Blender
Here I go again, but Dang, Montel, bringing on a "psychic" to help sell that blender you're hawking? Must YOU be the celebrity face of MS? The fake actor-audience, er, I mean, the live audience got the chance (this is a commercial for a blender) to ask his psychic pal Sylvia Browne a question. (What you ask, does this have to do with blenders?)
A woman stands and begins to ask about her relative (I am half listening, as I am on exercise bike.) with some cancer, when Montel interrupts and says, Let me just say using blended fruits and vegetables is proven to lower the risk of...(he said something like that, well, duh, yes, a healthy diet helps our bodies versus eating fried donuts all day, but just slipping a word here and there, the message was what came through: buy this special blender and you won't get cancer or at least you can beat it like I beat MS.)
At first I was so aghast that he interrupted the poor woman with the loved one with cancer, but then I caught myself and reminded myself this was just a commercial, just Montel being Montel. He reminds me of James Baker, the seller of God. Even after his arrest people still sent him money. OK, so there are people out there who need Montel. I say, whatever gets you through.
I think Baker started out with nothing but good intentions and I think Williams started out that way too. My lesson: Never let my good intentions drown in the need for money.
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Diane J Standiford
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Pumpkin's Healing Powers
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12:14 AM
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Abnormal Neural Connectivity, Brain Nerve Cells:SHAPE UP
From the MNI:
In a new study, researchers at the Montreal Neurological Institute and Hospital (The Neuro), McGill University have found an important mechanism involved in setting up the vast communications network of connections in the brain.
A signaling pathway involving interactions between a schizophrenia-linked gene product, Calcineurin, and a transcription factor known as Nuclear Factor in Activated T-cells (NFAT) contributes to the connectivity at nerve cell (neuron) junctions or synapses and affects the extent of nerve cell projections or dendritic branches, in the visual system. The results of this study, published in the journal Neuron, may bring hope to adults suffering from brain injuries and offer the possibility of early diagnosis, treatments and therapies for schizophrenia, autism or other developmental disorders where abnormal neurological wiring is thought to occur early in life.
In early brain development, there is an overabundance of unspecified connections between neurons. During development (and learning), these connections are pruned, leaving the stronger and more specific ones. This refinement occurs in response to a set of inputs from the environment, and is traditionally thought to be mediated through changes at synapses - the specialized junctions through which neurons communicate with each other.
Neurons possess an innate tendency to extend branched projections from the cell body known as dendrites. Dendrites receive information and form synaptic contacts with the terminals of other nerve cells to allow nerve impulses to be transmitted. In the so-called “synaptotropic model” of dendritic development, interactions between dendrites and potential synaptic partners provide the extrinsic cues that help direct dendritic growth into patterns that optimize synaptic interactions. Therefore, growth or branching is most likely to occur in regions where there is a stabilized synapse and retraction is more likely in regions where synapses fail to mature or become destabilized.
“Our study shows that changes in synaptic connections are also controlled by alterations in the transcriptional profile of the cell which governs protein production,” says Dr. Edward Ruthazer, neuroscientist at The Neuro and lead investigator of the study. There is a growing body of evidence that transcriptional regulation, an important step in the process of making proteins, is a key regulator of long-term changes in synaptic connectivity.
The protein Calcineurin (CaN) regulates transcriptional programs that control synapse formation and function. It has also has been strongly implicated in weakening connections between cells, and is a likely regulator of pruning of connectivity. CaN instructs the neurons through the transcription factor NFAT, which in turn plays an important role in axonal outgrowth and neuronal response to extrinsic cues involved in circuit development and refinement.
Neil Schwartz, a graduate student in Dr. Ruthazer’s lab designed a method of specifically blocking the interaction between CaN and NFAT at the nucleus in order to examine the effects on neuronal connections in the visual system. “We found that inhibiting the function of CaN resulted in more dendritic branches and more synapses, demonstrating that CaN is a potent regulator of dendritic complexity and synaptic function,” explained Dr. Ruthazer. “We further demonstrated that CaN mediates its effects on neurocircuitry through its activation of NFAT transcription factors and that NFAT activity in the developing brain can be regulated by natural visual stimulation.
This extension of the synaptotrophic model taking into consideration not only the interactions with synaptic partners that shape the neural architecture, but also the transcriptional profile of nerve cells, provides vital insight into diseases in which there is abnormal neural connectivity and offers the possibility of early diagnosis and treatment.
About the Montreal Neurological Institute and Hospital
Celebrating 75 years
The Montreal Neurological Institute and Hospital (The Neuro) is a unique academic medical centre dedicated to neuroscience. The Neuro is a research and teaching institute of McGill University and forms the basis for the Neuroscience Mission of the McGill University Health Centre. Founded in 1934 by the renowned Dr. Wilder Penfield, The Neuro is recognized internationally for integrating research, compassionate patient care and advanced training, all key to advances in science and medicine. Neuro researchers are world leaders in cellular and molecular neuroscience, brain imaging, cognitive neuroscience and the study and treatment of epilepsy, multiple sclerosis and neuromuscular disorders. For more information, please visit www.mni.mcgill.ca.
Contact:
Anita Kar, Montreal
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Diane J Standiford
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Saturday, October 17, 2009
Open Enrollment For Health Ins.---Kill me now.
Medicare drug coverage is new to me. I used to be covered under my partner's work-plan. I researched all my choices in July. I made a choice. The ONE drug I take for spasticity, Valium, is not covered. $38/month. I pay for Medicare RX $18/month. I have a $250 deductible. Obama is giving me $250. I am paying $56/month for NOTHING. Once again, like my CDs, I am helping others. Yep, that's me, altruistic to the end. OK, so I am looking for new RX plan. AARRGGHH
My head is about to explode like that guy's on Fringe. (And I won't be covered for that, I suppose.) Reading all the choices, my blood pressure is rising, heart beat racing, migraine starting, eyes going cross (seriously, the eyes are twitching now), I can't sleep well---you get the picture.
How does our government expect an ill senior citizen to be able to make a good choice, or a person with a chronic progressive disease that effects cognitive abilities? Year after year the same beat goes on. I found on Twitter a site that lets you look up your drug and see which plan covers it. HA! It refused to find Valium or Diazepam, one of the cheapest most tested drugs around. Yeah, maybe I typed it in wrong or didn't spell it right or made some other error.
News Flash! I make mistakes, a lot, I have multiple sclerosis and I am no spring chicken anymore. (Though Aunt Vi says I am.) (Actually most of my retirement home neighbors say I am a kid and frankly I am getting sick of being "the kid." I'm FIFTY-TWO for godssake, sorry, I digress.) I, like I'm sure many will do, shall throw a dart and wherever it lands---there's my plan. Unfortunately, it will probably land somewhere in my body. And, yeppers, I won't be covered for that. (Though aspirins are ALWAYS covered during hospital stays and they seem to cost $1.50 each. Hmmmm)
Oh, here is the link for the Medicare Part D plan finder---I see I was sent to the 2009 one b4, swell. Not that it matters. http://www.q1medicare.com/PartD-SearchPDPMedicarePartDPlanFinder.php?utm_source=partd&utm_medium=textlink&utm_campaign=TopLeftBox
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Diane J Standiford
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9:29 AM
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Do Ghosts Poo? Laugh with Me and Ponder
Let me set the record straight: I have NEVER spoken to the no longer living. The no longer living have spoken to me! So, don't blame ME! OK, it is killing me not to share this because it so crazy and when I try to tell it to people I start laughing so hard I never get to finish the story properly.
Once when I was living in the upstairs apt. of my childhood home (OMG I'm laughing already), I woke up and there was a (Oh I must rush to the loo, BRB) there was a poo log next to my bed. I have owned a German Shepherd, Dalmatian, Lab, and mini terrier mix, plus cats, this was HUMAN poo.
I had my bedroom door closed. It was not mine. (I am more sure of that fact now that I have had MS-accidents) People ask, who else was in the house? (Here is where I totally lose it) My mom slept in bedroom across from me with her door shut. The picture of my 46yr old mother, tip-toeing into my room in middle of night, squatting to leave a perfectly formed specimen, is beyond ridiculous.
Yes, I told mom and Aunt Vi who both said immediately "It must have been a spirit." OBVIOUSLY somebody was truly insane here and it wasn't me!
Years later I read somewhere that ghosts will do such things. (WAAA!!??) I was having a visit from my cousin's dead husband who I couldn't stand. He used to take walks with a pole that he fashioned into a spear and he would jab at fenced in dogs. (How did he die? He jabbed a junk yard dog. The dog broke out and chewed him to death.) He played the guitar, banjo, mandolin, quite lovely and drank as much as he strummed. My own guitar had been strumming (My God, I sound like a crazy person.) lately, by itself, while propped against the wall. I figured the poo was his joke.
Ok, enough reality, here are a few serious jokes:
Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it. So I said 'Implants?' She hit me.
How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for
Miss America ?
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!
Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?
And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
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Diane J Standiford
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Friday, October 16, 2009
Waiting for Cures
My latest MS publication from my local chapter says we are are at the beginning of the end in finding a cure for MS. Hmmmm I have become a disease cure unbeliever. Have we really eradicated any disease since Polio?
As a kid my family always watched the Jerry Lewis MDA telethon and we always gave a donation. Money was scare, but Jerry was so convincing that a cure was close. I am 52 now and the MDA Jerry's Kids, continues. People may criticize Lewis, but he sure knows how to raise money. If MS had been raising all that money, I doubt we would be any closer to a cure.
"If we just had more money," I used to say. Nah, now I see a complicated disease that brings more questions with each answer. I thought Bill Gate's "information highway" would open the road like Flash Gordon towards that elusive cure. I thought deciphering our genome would provide cures galore for all disease.
Gene therapy would make Christopher Reeve walk again and put MS out of my life forever.
LOL, the MS Association even gave away my red HOPE bracelet. The more I read about possible helpful discoveries, the more I miss my cheap HOPE bracelet.
Those poor researchers who work on MS. Think how many died after years of thinking about MS and feeling they were thisclose to the answer. I would like to thank them all for trying. I know there are more out there, trying. But for me, personally, I don't care to read about cures anymore, it is too trying.
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Diane J Standiford
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7:12 AM
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Raking Leaves is Fun
No, just my significant other. Now that is true love. Yes, all those leaves from the tree in my childhood yard. (The backyard had twice as many.)
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Diane J Standiford
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12:39 AM
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Thursday, October 15, 2009
All the Facts on Chronic Cerebrospinal Venous Insufficiency or CCSVI
Here is the real deal about that reseach, thanks Lisa from Brass and Ivory http://brassandivory.blogspot.com/ and Bibliotekaren from Arranging Shoeshttp://www.arrangingshoes.com/ , who spoke to a Stanford surgeon who has been doing this procedure on MSers.
Read the whole story here: http://www.buffalo.edu/news/10562
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Diane J Standiford
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11:51 AM
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MS Researchers Stop Jerking Our Chains!
BUFFALO, NY (WBFO) - UB Neurologists are ready to investigate the possible underlying cause of Multiple Sclerosis.
An Italian researcher has uncovered a new clue in the search for the cause of MS. It is the discovery of a narrowing of the primary veins outside of the skull. It restricts normal blood flow to the brain resulting in a vascular condition found in MS patients. Now UB is ready to dig into this research. Dr. Robert Zivadinov is an associate professor of Neurology.
A study is already underway in Buffalo. Dr. Murali Ramanathan, associate professor of Pharmaceutical Sciences at UB, says they want to replicate the findings from Italy.
© Copyright 2009, WBFO
****Now read that. A researcher ("professor of PHARMACEUTICAL SCIENCES") wants to replicate the narrowing of veins outside the skull. Which veins? How many MS patients have that vascular condition? Who tested for it since it was JUST DISCOVERED? Is this poor reporting or ridiculous leap? Do ONLY MS patients have this mystery vascular condition? I hate crap like this. We deserve better. What Italian University is the initial researcher associated with? I feel like I am being played with as if I were a child.
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Diane J Standiford
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8:13 AM
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The Man from St. Louis Returns from the Dead
I recently got this email from a cousin in Indiana. The facts of the story happened before my recent posts, so don't think she took any of this from anything I said. We have not discussed such things either. (For all you skeptics to ponder.)
"I can't tell this story to everyone or they will be putting me in a rubber room. But since you are on the physic thing…..
When Aunt Vi was on the second floor in the nursing home she would tell me, in the beginning, that some man would occasionally come into her room at night and sit in her chair and read.. She didn’t like it. We checked it out but couldn’t get anyone to fess up.
As time went on, this man was from St Louis and some times a woman and child would come with him. Sometimes she would see him when I was visiting. We were afraid she was getting sick or worse, loosing it. We had her checked and when nothing showed up had additional blood work…..nothing. Finally, I told the sympathetic social worker about Aunt Vi and had her check the records for former residence in that room. Turned out that 2 or 3 years before Aunt Vi there was a man in the room that had taught school in Fort Wayne for some time but he was originally from St Louis. After that when she would see him, I would tell her to tell him that we were visiting and he needed to leave and she said he did leave.
My daughter was very skeptical but she tried the same thing when Aunt Vi would see them and it worked for her also. She was still very doubtful but I told her it was pretty normal with Aunt Vi. Now she thinks we are all nuts!
Since Aunt Vi has been on the first floor, she has never mentioned seeing the people from St Louis again."
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Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Toss a Sock For MS Brain Building
Part of my MS therapy has always included tossing rolled up socks back and forth with friends/partner/caregivers---somehow since 1990, I felt this activity helped my brain, though I had no proof and wasn't sure how. Now research backs me up! (And others always thought I was crazy to play this "game," HA!)
"The team at Oxford's Department of Clinical Neurology used a diffusion MRI which is able to measure the movement of water molecules in the tissues of the brain.
The signal changes according to how many bundles of nerve fibres there are and how tightly packed they are.
Changes in grey matter, where the processing and computation in the brain happens, have been shown before, but enhancements in the white matter have not previously been demonstrated.
Three ball cascade
The scientists studied a group of 24 healthy young adults, none of whom could juggle.
They divided them into two groups.
One of the groups was given weekly training sessions in juggling for six weeks and was asked to practice 30 minutes every day the other 12 continued as normal.
After training, the 12 jugglers could perform at least two continuous cycles of the classic three ball cascade.
Both groups were scanned using diffusion MRI before and after the training.
At the six week point, a 5% increase in white matter was shown in a rear section of the brain called the intraparietal sulcus for the jugglers.
This area has been shown to contain nerves that react to us reaching and grasping for objects in our peripheral vision.
There was a great variation in the ability of the volunteers to juggle but all of them showed changes in white matter.
The Oxford team said this must be down to the time spent training and practising rather than the level of skill attained.
Dr Heidi Johansen-Berg, who led the team, said: "MRI is an indirect way to measure brain structure and so we cannot be sure exactly what is changing when these people learn.
"Future work should test whether these results reflect changes in the shape or number of nerve fibres, or growth of the insulating myelin sheath surrounding the fibres.
"
"We chose juggling purely as a complex new skill for people to learn."
Clinical Applications
Dr Johansen-Berg said there were clinical applications for this work but there were a long way off.
She said: "Knowing that pathways in the brain can be enhanced may be significant in the long run in coming up with new treatments for neurological diseases, such as multiple sclerosis, where these pathways become degraded."
Professor Cathy Price, of the Wellcome Trust Centre for Neuroimaging, said: "It's extremely exciting to see evidence that training changes human white matter connections.
"This compliments other work showing grey matter changes with training and motivates further work to understand the cellular mechanisms underlying these effects."
Source: BBC News © British Broadcasting Corporation 2009
Thanks to The Multiple Sclerosis Resource Centre http://www.msrc.co.uk/index.cfm?CFID=2267959&CFTOKEN=73043527 for providing this new info.
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Diane J Standiford
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8:58 AM
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When Spirits Attack. The Ghost in the Attic.
My plan was to sleep in the bed cross from my cousin Tommy (names have been changed to protect the innocent)(ME). We turned off the lights and he wanted to share ghost stories. All my cousins knew of the family psychic happenings. It was supposed to be just a fun sleepover. Tommy was 2 years younger than I and his little brother 2 more. Tommy and Sammy fought constantly. Sammy had a short fuse which made him an easy target. I egged Tommy on sometimes and I feel sorry for that. I never saw two kids fight so viciously! Eventually their mom would break them apart and then beat them. That past was no fun at all. That part was sick.
Tommy and I were discussing what might be behind the curtain that covered an opening leading to an attic area in the house that my great-grandfather built (Aunt Vi's father); and Sammy was scared to death. Tommy and I started daring each other to go behind the curtain. Sammy wanted to show how brave he was and he said he would go. Of course, we egged him on. (God knows neither of us wanted to go inside the "off limits" room.)
The moon was out, but the night seemed darker than usual. Hey, I call 'em like I see 'em! Tommy's mom and dad were sleeping downstairs....I guess, or maybe in the next small room with the door shut. I don't recall them being nearby when it happened.
First the curtains started swaying, which was odd since there were no drafts or open windows. This was our grandfather's home (great and great-great). He built it with his own hands for his wife and family, so sturdy it still stands. And some family members were born there and died there. The night before I went over, Aunt Vi warned me to stay away from the attic and if a spirit appeared, "Just tell it to get out." (?!) Looking back, now, I wonder why I took that warning so in stride.
Next a bright light could be seen in the distance behind the curtain. (Sammy was running straight away at this point.) Tommy and I stood motionless, all thoughts of entering had left us. We were more concerned with what might come out than going in. You see, the light keot getting brighter and the curtains began moving outward and then it started.
Moaning, a low, sad, moaning of words we couldn't make out. The light was coming out, the moaning was growing louder, the curtain began to part. "Get out!" I shouted, followed by, "Go away!" And it did. It all stopped abruptly as Tommy and I took a breath and looked at each other. Then we ran downstairs. I called Aunt Vi and she picked me up. I don't think I ever went up the small, narrow stairway to the 2nd floor of grandpa's house again. Tommy, Sammy, and I never spoke of it, though I did tell Aunt Vi. Her only response was: "I'm not surprised."
Aunt Vi would connect with spirits her whole life. She is in a nursing home now. She is 102, takes 1 pill, can barely hear or see, but these are not the senses needed to "see" spirits. I started to get reports shortly after she settled into her new home that she was seeing imaginary people. Obvious dementia and the nurses were quite concerned. I was like, "Hey! It's Aunt Vi! She has seen dead people all her life." As a matter of fact Aunt Vi and I had a conversation about a spirit who was totally visible to me a week previous, and we discussed him.
There is no one left like Aunt Vi to tell such things to now. As my mother told me, "People will think you are crazy." I got an email yesterday from my cousin who visits Aunt Vi frequently. I am so grateful to have this cousin in my life again. (When you are adults, those 7 years difference in age are meaningless.) She is my only connection to Aunt Vi's weekly goings on, in Indiana.
Aunt Vi, my mother, me, all living in a home for the sick or older. (I don't want to insult my neighbors, many of whom are very vibrant and youthful.) Funny how life turns out sometimes.
Tomorrow I will share the email I got that tells of Aunt Vi's latest adventure into the beyond.
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Diane J Standiford
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12:13 AM
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Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Winter Heating Warnings. Check on Elderly and Disabled Neighbors/Famiy/Friends
Reminder - keep everything that can burn at least a foot away from heaters. Clothes, blankets, furniture etc can start a fire if too close. Watch those candles! If you can't pay your heating bill, call your provider right away and make a payment plan. Stay warm and safe this winter.
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Diane J Standiford
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8:40 AM
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Calling Dead Spirits by Trumpet
My great aunt's older sister also had "the power" or "gift" of communicating with the deceased. She used a trumpet somehow to do this. I searched for information on this and came up with the following from the Bible: 1 Cor. 15: 51 – 52
"Behold, I shew you a mystery; We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed,
in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed." (KJV: King James Version)
Anyway, the one story Aunt Vi told, and Ivah, her longtime companion corroborated, goes like this: Aunt Hazel started blowing a trumpet to summon a spirit and one came, took over the trumpet, they locked spirit and trumpet in closet and the trumpet slammed full force against the closet walls before it finally left. I never asked more about all that Aunt Hazel did. She died a few years before I was born.
Hazel's daughter had no interest in, nor apparent gift of ESP. Her daughter has an interest, but no gift. (Update! Her daughter, my cousin, has informed that both she and her mother "worked the table") She did however, retrieve the card table that was used in Aunt Vi's many spirit callings. Perhaps one day that table will rise again. Aunt Vi and Aunt Hazel and Uncle Arthur (their brother) used to sit at a solid wood, ten person table and raise it straight up. (I don't know if it was just the 3 of them. I think Uncle Arthur was just along for the ride, like Ivah was.)
Their father, my great-grandfather, built a small two bedroom (I would consider it a one bedroom) house and that is where most of the "wild" spirit stories seemed to happen. (The house still stands, over 100 years old) My 2nd cousin once lived there with her husband and two young boys. The boys and I often played together. We grew up around all Aunt Vi's events but hadn't heard about the nasty spirits yet. I spent, well, was going to spend the night once and at the rear of the bedroom was an "off limits" area, though we kids didn't know why. It had no door, just a long cloth covering the entrance. The oldest boy and I decided to peek and, well...to be continued.
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12:13 AM
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Monday, October 12, 2009
In the Navy A SICK Commander Forces Troops to Simulate Homosexual Acts
The Village People In THE NAVY
STOP DON'T ASK DON'T TELL NOW Root out the rogue, sick closeted homosexuals like the commander who hazed new recruits by making them simulate homosexual acts, even his second in command who later killed herself. PROVE to me that commander is not a closeted homosexual, even to himself, thanks to societal norms. HE is normal? Makes me sick.
Where can you find pleasure Search the world for treasure Learn science technology Where can you begin to make your dreams all come true On the land or on the sea Where can you learn to fly Play in sports and skin dive Study oceanography Sign of for the big band Or sit in the grandstand When your team and others meet In the navy Yes, you can sail the seven seas In the navy Yes, you can put your mind at ease In the navy Come on now, people, make a stand In the navy, in the navy Can't you see we need a hand In the navy Come on, protect the motherland In the navy Come on and join your fellow man In the navy Come on people, and make a stand In the navy, in the navy, in the navy (in the navy) They want you, they want you They want you as a new recruit If you like adventure Don't you wait to enter The recruiting office fast Don't you hesitate There is no need to wait They're signing up new seamen fast Maybe you are too young To join up today Bout don't you worry 'bout a thing For I'm sure there will be Always a good navy Protecting the land and sea In the navy Yes, you can sail the seven seas In the navy Yes, you can put your mind at ease In the navy Come on now, people, make a stand In the navy, in the navy Can't you see we need a hand In the navy Come on, protect the motherland In the navy Come on and join your fellow man In the navy Come on people, and make a stand In the navy, in the navy, in the navy (in the navy) They want you, they want you They want you as a new recruit Who me? They want you, they want you They want you as a new recruit But, but but I'm afraid of water. Hey, hey look Man, I get seasick even watchin' it on TV! They want you, they want you in the navy Oh my goodness. What am I gonna do in a submarine?
They want you, they want you in the navy .
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Diane J Standiford
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2:35 PM
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Calling Spirits from the Beyond with a Table
The reading of the cards was not as thrilling (and interesting) to me as when Aunt Vi called spirits into her living room. Remember, she was born in 1907, and in those days such activities took the place of watching TV; people had to make their own fun. Visiting spirits was fun. But, not everyone liked the idea.
Aunt Vi lived with Ivah (her friend from 16 up) and Ivah's mother, Lane, both devout Lutherans. Lane would simply go to her room when the spirit calling began. Ivah would do anything for and with Vi, so it was usually the two of them who "raised the table." Cousin Virginia was a non-believer and in fact felt it was the work of the Devil. But, Virginia still stuck around for the event. The rest of us were eager observers and participants. Here is how it worked:
Aunt Violet and Ivah would sit next to each other at a card table (A table with so many memories that it is with the granddaughter of Hazel, Aunt Vi's other psychic sister. I can smell it, feel it, hear the metal legs as it unfolded, and see it so clearly even now.) then they would place all four hands on the table top and Aunt Vi would close her eyes and begin calling, "Come spirit. Come spirit."
As a spirit entered the room, it went through Aunt Vi and Ivah, through their bodies to their hands and the table would slowly lift up to teeter on its rear legs. Then it would bounce without touching the floor and those of us in the room could ask questions. It dropped on the floor, once for yes, twice for no. That simple. What? You think Aunt Vi and Ivah just made it lift? Well....you think those of us in the room never thought of that? You think the younger generations didn't try to duplicate the action? Well, we did! And we tried! I think the only one who ever worked the table with Aunt Vi was me. If I'm wrong, I hope some observer tells me, because I don't remember anyone but Aunt Vi and Ivah, and a few times I tried it. I could only do it with Aunt Vi though. And for those who knew Ivah, the thought that she would lie or deceive about this spirit situation was unimaginable; she was too honest.
So, the spirit would enter and a chill would run up your spine. My youngest brother was often first with a question. (He was about 14--18) We then would go around asking about jobs, directions we should take, but my brother wanted to know deeper stuff. Aunt Vi often wanted to know about the spirit, Was it someone she knew? I mostly kept trying to figure out how I was being scammed. (Old habits die hard.) Here are some highlights I remember.
Once the double door to a second floor sun room's curtain came slowly floating outward and formed the shape of a person. It looked as if a person had just walked behind it. There was no draft in the room, nor open window.
Once cousin Virginia was going on and on about how we should stop and it was the work of the Devil and mid-answering questions the table hit the floor hard and all the lights went out. Virginia screamed bloody murder and I raced down the stairs, out the door into the dark night and over to my own home next door. "The boys," as my older brothers were called, found the basement fuse box and all was restored. Later we would laugh hysterically at the story, but would you call that a mere coincidence?
The event that sticks with me the most was the night my "Jehovah's Witness? Come In. Let's Debate." brother, sat quietly on the edge of his chair. The table was acting strangely, shaking back and forth, going up and down without anyone asking questions, it was kind of freaky, then Aunt Vi said, "Do you want to tell us something?" BAM to the floor. "Do you want to speak to someone in this room?" Lighter bam. (How is THIS going to work? I wondered.)
"Do you want to speak to Jim?" down once, then hung, then down again. My stomach started churning, my brow started sweating, Please Please don't let it be me, I thought. Around the room she went and each time the table would hang for what seemed like an eternity before the second "no, not that one," drop to the floor. Besides the couch, rocking chair, and several stuffed chairs, there were plenty of folding chairs for our unmoving rears to sit in. In other words, the room was full and my name was coming up. "Do you want to speak to D i a n e?" (I heard her words in slow motion.)
Lift, h a n g, dangle, down, up....up, then down--it was a NO! Yea! "...Mark?" Up, hang, hold, hold, hold, bam. My brother from another planet had the floor and the spirit's attention. Mark shifted and spoke is his normal, slow, low, Midwest twang, "Is there a God?"
Between the gasps and dropped jaws, the table did something it had never done before. It dropped from Aunt Vi and Ivah's hands (finger tips, actually) as if gravity loaded wrath upon it.
Whoever or whatever had called for Mark was gone from the house. Or was it an indignant yes? And if so, then why the drama? Mark was just getting started. Why the abrupt ending? No beckoning from Aunt Vi brought any more movement to the table that night. We all felt the anger in the dropping, more like a leaving than an answer.
That night left us all with a creepy feeling. I'm not sure we "worked" the table much after that.
Aunt Vi's sister, Hazel, had a different way of attracting spirits. Common back then, I'm told, but one night an angry spirit had to be locked....well, to be continued.
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Diane J Standiford
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12:13 AM
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Sunday, October 11, 2009
New Immune System Virus Found XMRV
XMRV are you the virus that lives in me? Read the NY Times article http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/09/health/research/09virus.html?em
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Diane J Standiford
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9:18 PM
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Labels: Chronic Illness Blog Links, Health
Growing Up in a Psychic Family
My grandma died when my mother was 15. Most of my mom's life was spent with her mother's baby sister---Aunt Violet. Most of my childhood was spent with Aunt Violet. Aunt Vi rented an apt. in her house to my mom, my two older brothers, and me. When I was 9 my mom bought the house next door to Aunt Vi's. I was raised by a village and Aunt Vi was the village Head.
Aunt Vi also was psychic. Her sister, Hazel was psychic. I am psychic. I never asked for it, never wanted it and don't even believe in it. I am a woman of science, but I can not deny what I have seen and done. Family members often said I "took after" Aunt Vi, not only in stubbornness, unwomanly determination and speaking of my mind, not only in spending my life with another female, not only in having an "extra tooth," but also in feeling future happenings, reading the cards, working the Ouija board, seeing dead people.
As we approach Halloween it seems appropriate to share some of my psychic, strange, experiences with you. My blog has several posts that tell stories of paranormal events. I will try not to repeat what I have already written. Again, I am a person of science, facts, reality, and what I will tell you is as "out there" to me as it may be to you. That said, here we go.
Aunt Vi could tell your fortune by having you shuffle then spread out 3 piles of cards. She would then lay the cards face up, one at a time, and begin telling you that you would have a visitor, find a lost treasure, fall in love, the usuals. What was unusual was the degree of accuracy was so close to 100% that it was scary.
So accurate were her predictions, people would come from across the U.S. (friends and relatives) to get a reading. My youngest brother was particularly interested in his readings and asked for them into his 50s, until Aunt Vi could no longer see.
When Aunt Vi "read the cards" we would gather around, my brother's friends, family members, and listen intently to her every word. I do not remember a time she was wrong in her predictions. It was eerie.
My older brother would try to "catch" her, but he never could. She would tell you to make a wish and she would see what the cards said. (She never used Tarot cards, and now I know why since I too can read cards---though my heart has never been in it.) My brother would not make a wish to trick her and she would often find that the cards said nothing. "Did you wish anything?" she would ask. He would say that he had, but later admit he had not. I tried that too, and she knew every time. Eerie.
But the real scary stuff was the calling of the spirits into our home. A few participants left with wet pants on more than one occasion. To be continued...
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Diane J Standiford
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12:12 AM
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Aunt Violet the Fortune Teller and Head of Village
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Diane J Standiford
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12:03 AM
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Multiple Sclerosis and False Hope
Oct. 9 (Bloomberg) -- "Acorda Therapeutics Inc.’s famprdine- SR, the first pill to improve walking in multiple sclerosis patients, may not be “clinically meaningful,” U.S. regulators said. The shares fell the most ever in Nasdaq trading. "
Oct, 8 (AP) "Prosecutors said Daniel concocted a remedy known, among other names, as "C-Extract" that she claimed would help treat cancer and other afflictions such as multiple sclerosis, hepatitis, and Alzheimer's and Parkinson's diseases.
Some of her patients were drawn to her from her appearance on TBN's "Praise the Lord." Daniel told viewers she collected herbs from around the world, and, when they were combined with prayer, there was a good chance their cancer could be cured."
For every new MS drug, for every new treatment, there has always been a retract: oops.
I'm tired of reading about the latest great drug for MS "in early stages" when the disease will get better and worse by itself, until the nerves can no long find a clear pathway. Chronic progressive---that has not changed in decades. I am all for HOPE, but I am NOT for false hope, because it stops people from searching for truth. And it stops people with MS from preparing for the worst.
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Diane J Standiford
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12:01 AM
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